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We all know selfish people. Heck, we’ve probably all been selfish at various times of our lives.

And we know people we see as self-less. And, I imagine we have all been self-less at various times as well.

So how do you determine when you’re being selfish and when you’re exercising self-care?

The answer is… (drumroll please).

It depends.

Aagh! Stinkin’ psychologist, can’t you ever give a straightforward answer?

Maybe someday, but today is not that day.

Depending on your underlying personality structure, you may need to swing one way or the other. There is a balance to strive for.

So you need to do a little navel gazing. Ask yourself, “Do I tend to do what I want, when I want or am I constantly sacrificing my wants and needs to make other’s happy?”

In the first case, you might want to do something sacrificial.

In the second case, you are likely in need of some self-care and, dare I say, selfish care (gasp).

Nudge in the opposite direction of your “normal.”

It can be a weird, yet kinda cool, sensation.


Dr. V.

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